This is ridiculously long, probably more than anybody wants to read and the only pictures are from my phone...but it's my blog, haha. I'm just going to talk about his birth in this post. I'll post about his NICU stay later...
Thursday, December 22nd: Besides the fact that I was still pregnant, I was excited for my midwife appointment. There are two midwives at the clinic that I go to, so I switched back and forth for prenatal appointments. It was in the morning, and Nathan didn’t have work, so we both got to go. My blood pressure was still high, but not too crazy. They did a cervix check, and I was 2cm! My midwife, Heather also swept my membranes. She said to come to the hospital on Saturday (Christmas Eve), because the office wasn’t open, but they wanted to do a blood pressure test and watch the baby to make sure everything was all right. She also said that she would sweep the membranes again, because it usually takes a few times to get labor started. I was feeling really positive and we decided to run some errands, and do some walking around the mall and Costco to hopefully get things moving.
Saturday, December 24th: Our appointment at Labor & Delivery was at 9am. We go into one of those little triage rooms, and I get all hooked up to the monitors. I mentioned to the nurse about sweeping the membranes, that Heather would be at the hospital that day. She seemed a little anxious about that, and said she’d go find her. After monitoring, Heather came in and explained that everything was still great with the baby but that L&D was full. They didn’t want her to sweep membranes again, because there’s a small chance that it can break your water, and they’d have to admit me right then. I was totally crushed! She apologized, and said she was there Monday too, and to call and see if I could come in Monday (the 26th) for the sweep.
Sunday, December 25th: Merry Christmas, no sign of baby! I felt defeated. Church was just sacrament meeting, and it was a beautiful musical program, I wish I would have had a better attitude. We arrived just a little late, and I was not happy to be there. It was precisely 2000 degrees in the chapel, and my swollen feet were spilling out of my shoes. I felt like every one was staring at me, wondering how I was still pregnant. After the meeting I wanted to escape and just go home. Luckily I didn’t. Friends came and talked to me, comforted me. And I am so grateful for one who didn’t sugar coat it, and said,” I’m sorry, I know this sucks.” It felt SO good to have someone else acknowledge how I really felt. **side note: When we were trying to get pregnant, I remember thinking to myself, “I will NEVER complain about being pregnant, I will just be so grateful that I won’t have time to wallow in self pity.” I truly thought that I would love and have the perfect attitude for every bit of pregnancy, but to be honest, I didn’t. I really, truly enjoyed most of it, I felt extremely blessed and thankful, but those last few weeks...they were really hard **
Monday, December 26th: I called the hospital in the morning and talked to a nurse on the phone about what Heather and I had talked about. She quickly said, let me transfer you to my lead. Uh-oh. The lead came on, and almost laughed saying they were even MORE busy than they were on Saturday and that they wouldn’t do it. I so badly wanted to go into labor as naturally as possible, and was really hoping that the sweeping of the membranes would help me out.
Tuesday, December 27th: Another midwife appointment. When we had scheduled these all out, I KNEW we would not make it to this appointment. I KNEW that we would already be home, with our baby. HA! This time we met with the midwife, Lisa. We talked about what didn’t happen over the weekend, and about induction. She was concerned about my blood pressure, and the water I was retaining. She said they could put me on the medical induction list. This would put me above anyone wanting an elective induction, and I was third up for Wednesday, but that most likely I would get a call on Thursday to come into the hospital. We decided to go for it. I was feeling miserable, I was overdue, and selfishly we wanted this baby in 2016 for tax purposes.
Wednesday, December 28th: We were invited out to dinner with our friends, Tyson and Amber for his birthday. We had said we could, but there’s a chance we’d have to cancel because of getting called into the hospital. We hadn’t received a call by 5:30, so we met them out at Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner at 6. Maybe even the spicy wings would put me into labor. We had ordered drinks and getting ready to order our food. At 6:22pm my phone started ringing. It was a number I didn’t recognize, I made Nathan answer the phone. He passed it to me and said, it’s a nurse from Kadlec. They said they were ready for me to come in. RIGHT NOW? She said to make sure I eat something before I come in, and to take our time. I was freaking out. This was actually happening. We got our food to go, and left our friends. I remember feeling like I do at the beginning of a panic attack. I couldn’t really catch my breath, or talk very well. I was so excited/nervous/anxious. I ate my wings SO FAST in the car as we drove home to grab our bags. I said goodbye to Ruby, and we were off to the hospital.
At Kadlec, December 28th: We arrived around 7:30 and got checked into Suite 12. I had a birth plan prepared, but I knew that with being induced, things were most likely to be changed. To start, they needed to get an IV. My veins are TERRIBLE! Even pregnant, with all that extra blood, people have a hard time getting a good stick. It took a few tries, and they finally got the IV in place. (Later it blew and got switched to my other arm…but whatever. Haha) They started by inserting a cervical ripening agent, and said to sleep. HA! Baby kept moving, and the nurse was in my room every 5 seconds adjusting the monitors. Then the monitor stopped working completely. So she got a new one. Then the whole COMPUTER stopped working, so they had to switch that out. Around 2 am she came back in and was ready to start the Pitocin. I had not slept, Nathan however, was snoring, he slept through everything. Good for him. After they started the IV, I was able to get a little bit of sleep.
December 29th: Around 6am I started feeling the contractions strong. They started hard, and were already just a few minutes apart. It was go time. I was able to change positions to endure the contractions. Nathan was able to keep up with them with counter pressure on my back. He encouraged me, and didn’t annoy me with cheesy lines. ;) My nurse was also so helpful, she has been a labor and delivery nurse for over 30 years! When I started to lose focus, she would bring me back and help me focus on my breathing. They checked my cervix, and I was to a 6cm! I felt so encouraged, I was doing this! I kept changing my positions, trying to distract myself. I tried on my knees, standing over the bed, in the tub, sitting on the toilet, leaning on Nathan, laying on my side, I was all over the place. At 11am my water broke, Lisa told me to listen to my body, and when I felt the urge to push, to go for it. After a little while, I started to feel that urge, my body was going to push whether I tried or not.
Again, I tried several positions. Every time I pushed, I felt so much pressure in my lower back. I actually heard Lisa point out to Nathan that they could see my tailbone getting pushed out. Um...what?! They tried to feel the babies head as I pushed to see what was going on. He would barely move, then go back up. They could feel him easily...he was not only stuck, but he was facing the wrong way. After 2 hours of this, I was literally falling asleep between pushing. Lisa gave me two options. I could continue, and most likely end up needing a c-section, or I could get an epidural in hopes that they could contort me to get him into the correct position. I felt defeated, I had made it SO far without any medication! She also explained, if he was in a different position, I would have already had him. Frustrating! I felt sad, but at the same time, accomplished. I had done what I wanted to do, it just got to a point that was no longer safe.
The anesthesiologist arrived quickly to my room. They were talking, and the nurse said, “You know she’s complete right?” He did not know that, usually they don’t do epidurals after 8cm. Thankfully he still agreed to do it. I had to sit in this weird position, and hold still during contractions while he started it. He said I would feel pressure, prickling, etc. I didn’t feel anything, especially compared to what I had been feeling. My legs started to tingle, it was working! After just a few minutes, I couldn’t feel the contractions, I couldn’t feel the extreme pressure in my back. Now that I could stay in the positions during contractions, they were able to move me around and start to get our little boy into the correct position. I was also able to relax and sleep a little bit. Nathan ordered lunch, and then he slept for a bit too. Night shift arrived, and I was so sad to see Jodi leave. She had helped me so much, and I know she was disappointed that this little guy hadn’t arrived yet.
Our night nurse, Lexi came and got me into even more extreme positions, she was getting this baby out! Lisa had checked the babies position again, and he was getting closer, close enough that I would start pushing soon. But this time it felt weird to push, I could feel the pressure and urge to push, it was just different. It took some time to figure out how to push without being able to feel like I did before. Almost three hours of pushing later, he was almost here. The last two contractions, his heartbeat dropped. Everyone in the room yelled and encouraged me, he needed to get out, and quickly. I realized that, but I was so exhausted. I took a deep breath and I pushed as hard as I could. His head came out, and the cord was around his neck. Then his shoulder was stuck, and when they came out, he STILL didn’t come easily. Another push and FINALLY, he was out, and it was such a relief.
Nathan was gowned up and he was able to catch him. Nathan held him up for me to see, but he didn’t look right, his coloring was weird and he wasn’t moving or making noise. I just stared. Lisa quickly took him, Nathan cut the cord and the NICU nurses were already in the room ready to help him out. I heard crying soon after the nurses were doing their thing. I could relax. They weighed and measured him. 9lbs 4oz, 21.5 inches long. I heard something about blood sugar checks because of his size. I guess if a baby is either on the smaller or the bigger side, they do blood sugar checks. If they pass 4 in a row, they’re good to go. I didn’t think much of this, and was distracted by the nurse who was giving me a “uterine massage.” More like…squishing the crap out of my stomach. Rude, don't you know what my poor body just went through? The placenta came next and then Lisa said I had a few internal tears and needing some stitches. Towards the end of her doing that, I said that I could feel them. And she was asked “Pressure or the needle?” I told her I could feel the needle, she kind of grimaced and said, “Sorry, only two more.” She finished up as they brought him over to me.
Honestly, I didn’t have this immediate, overwhelming feeling of love or attachment that so many say they have. I just stared at him. I couldn’t believe that my body created this life. I felt so grateful…so proud of my body. After my miscarriages, my focus had been so much on pregnancy. Trying to get pregnant, trying to stay pregnant, making sure things were going right, etc. I knew the outcome of a successful pregnancy is obviously a child, but now he was here, and he was ours. I was just amazed. Welcome to the world sweet Peter, we are so excited you chose us.
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Here's Peter's birth through Nathan's point of view ||
